still very disappointed!

Hi ladies

After abit of advice or just to know there is someone else who feels the same. I didnt have a great birth with sophie, long story short i ended up with a emergency c section after hours of labour and a failed assisted delievery. I just feel robbed i didnt get the birth i wanted. I know things dont always go to plan but it was the last thing i wanted. Think the worse thing is its really scared me and if i did have another would be too scared to go for vbac so ill never get that experience.Was starting to come to terms with it until this week when a friend had a lovely birth. Its not that im not pleased for her cos of course i am just reminds me i didnt get that. I dont really know how to get past it now!

Hi stpatrickmummy, I guess I'm in the same boat as you. I had Connor by emergency c section but didn't even get as far established labour. I had mild contractions for about 6 hours and went to the birthing centre to be checked, I was monitored for an hour and then told to go home. DH and I were planning what to get for lunch on the way home when I a Dr came in the room had a chat with the midwife and then told me to get my jewellery off and a hospital gown on! i had an IV stuck in my hand and was literally marched down the corridor to the labour ward. I managed to get in a quick trip to the loo but when I emerged there were 6 or 7 people in the room, looking at monitors and poking and prodding me. I was told that the baby needed to be delivered asap as the heart rate was jumping then dropping. DH looked like he was going to puke! I was shoved in a chair and taken to theatre and Connor was born less then an hour after I was told to go home. To top it all off as I was being moved from recovery to the ward he started to breathe really fast and hard so the MW called a Dr and she took Connor off to take blood. Dh went with him but came back an hour and a half later with polaroid picture of Connor in an incubator hooked up to machines!! He spent a week in special care as he had pooed inside me and then swallowed the fluid, he had fluid on his lungs and was treated for possible infection but is fine now.
I feel cheated from a nice birth experience as I was in shock and then couldn't even see my baby until the next morning. I held him once for about 20 minutes once I got to recovery then had to wait until the drip and catheter were out before I could visit him. I cried when I saw him in the incubator then cried all night. I still cry when I think about it and like you I think I'd be scared to go for a VBAC as the MW told me if I hadn't gone to the hospital to be checked that morning Connor might have died.
With the way I feel now I don't think I'd get to full term with another pregnancy without freaking out. I think I'd go for an elective c section just for peace of mind. DH agrees with me too.
I'm not sure how to get over it really, I'm hoping that I feel better in time.

ah thats awful. its so scary, i had the c section cos lo heart rate slowed. she got stuck as i was pushing. i agree would go for elective just so i wouldnt worry all the way through pregnancy but then in a way i feel very guilty for thinking that.

Hi hun, i also didn't get the birth i wanted, i had to be induced as my waters had gone 24hrs previous so i couldn't have a water birth and because i reacted badly to the anisphetic (sp) when they were trying to do the epidural i was told to keep puffing on the gas and air meaning i was too out of it to know what was happening. It ended up feelling like one of those drunken nights where you try to piece together the snippets you can remember to work out what actually happened and i hate those nights!!! I'm going to ask for a copy of my birth notes so i can try and get it clear in my head what actually happened as it was all so quick, maybe ask for a copy of yours and have a discussion with your mw/hv about what could be done next time if you wanted to go for a vbac then or if they believe the best thing would be a planned c sec. I know you said you're scared now but they might be able to help clear up why it happened that way so you don't feel scared all through your next pregnancy. Sorry you both had bad experiences, i hope next time is much better for you both!x

thanks ladies reallt apperciate the support.

My MW did say that there is no reason why I can't have a VBAC next time, I just think I'd worry too much. I was convinced that something would be wrong or go wrong with this baby and although my GP and MW team tried to reassure me that everything was ok I still just had a funny feeling about it. Looks like I was right too! I don't feel guilty for thinking I might want another C section though, I wasn't at all scared about going into labour beforehand (my nan had 14 children so I figured it couldn't be that bad or she wouldn't have had so many kids!) surely it's better for me to be calm and reassurred throughout my pregnancy? I did really want my baby delivered straight onto me and wanted to breast feed which I also didn't get to do because of his breathing problems, but I need to be grateful that he was delivered safely and cared for really well by the hospital which is far more important.
Despite a dissapointing birth experience I do hope that Connor is not my first and last baby, I'm 35 now so I haven't got time for 13 more babies like my Nan but I'd like at least one more!

my mw never spoke to me about the birth really so i dont really know if there was a reason for it or not. im going ask for my birth notes like suggested maybe if i knew what happened and talk to my hv i could move away from it. we really wanted to ttc around xmas time but right now i cant face it! hope everyone else who was disappointed feels better soon.